Taking care of your relationship after the quake

By: Relationships Aotearoa  05-Apr-2012

How do you take care of your relationship, so that it can take care of you?

The earthquake puts a lot of things into perspective. Your relationship feels more precious and more vulnerable in the wake of so much loss.

At a time like this, you lean on your relationship. You count on it to get you through. But this is not a flash in the pan. This is a long haul. So how do you take care of your relationship, so that it can keep taking care of you?

  • Talk – and listen - to each other. It’s not only how you felt when it happened, it’s also how you feel now.
  • Give each other lots of affection, comfort and appreciation. Thank each other for the efforts to cope.
  • Share the most difficult tasks of coping between you. It will help you to feel supported.
  • You might each have different ways of coping. Talk about what helps you. Try to give your partner some of what they want. It could be time alone, keeping in contact with people, getting exercise, having a hug.
  • Taking good care of yourself – regular meals, some physical exercise and a bit of rest will help you to manage stress, worry, fear, anger and grief.
  •  Start looking forward. Pool your ideas about what possibilities the future might hold. You don’t have to make any hasty decisions. Just let the ideas develop.    


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