As I work 1:1 with my clients and I train lots of executives in coaching skills I hear a common story. They never believe they get enough feedback, especially the positive kind but often it is just specific feedback that is missing.
I also know that you already know that feedback not only can give people a sense confidence, worthiness, acknowledgement, it gives a sense of direction. It helps people to choose effectively. It creates certainty. It helps people know where they stand without all that oh so damaging second guessing, those assumptions, the stories we run in our head with no evidence. And I mean often no evidence at all. Do you agree? Does that happen to you?
This silence is the worst possible kind of feedback. It creates uncertainty. Uncertainty is damaging. It is uncomfortable. It uses a lot of energy that keeps us from being productive. It causes us stress while we wait to find out what others think or will they respond to us.
Certainty has been attributed to be one of the 5 basic social needs for human beings.
Feedback allows us to get on. Even if it is not flattering mostly once we have feedback we can deal with it – either in a positive way or not. That is our choice – but at least you have the feedback.
Ok, I hear you say – but I don’t want to give negative feedback. Or – I don’t want to tell them I am not interested in buying. What is it about your unwillingness to be honest? I bet it is one of your core values. If you don’t like giving feedback then find a way of delivering it that keeps the emotion out of it and is useful for the receiver. It is your responsibility if you are a leader in any sense of the word.
Here is a tip. Make a list of all the people you know that are overdue for some feedback from you. Notice how many and who are on that list.
So I urge you to speak up – at every opportunity. Be bold. Be yourself .See what difference it might make around you.