February is the month of Valentine’s Day.
The pressure put on people to show their love by buying something is intense – both through advertising and through hints and ultimatums from partners!!
If we are really honest about it, commercialism and profit have taken over and it has almost become bigger than Christmas.
However, it does beg the question - do we really need to be reminded that love is an action as much as a concept?
That we need to show people we love them – at least once a year.
Surely, the people we love would know we love them because we act in loving ways every day.
Or do we?
Communication is so important.
It is well known and documented that the main reason relationships break down, regardless of their nature, is a breakdown in communication and I have to ponder whether part of this, is not knowing how to communicate love.
So what does it mean to communicate love?
I am certainly not an expert in this field however with some discussion and extensive research I have come up with some consistent actions that would be loving communication.
- It means to use words that only bring togetherness – not create separation.
- It means being an expert in people’s greatness – not their faults.
- It means saying thank you and acknowledging all that they do for you.
- It means embracing and believing in the vision they have for their life.
- It means accepting that their perception is their reality no matter what you think.
- It means setting clear and consistent boundaries around people so they know what you are ok with and what you are not.
- It means not trying to change them to make your world better - your world is not their responsibility.
- It means no put downs, mocking or ridiculing.
- It means making someone feel better because of their exchange with you.
- It means communicating issues with the person involved, not everyone else.
OK - I admit it. This list sounds like the actions of a saint however it is something to think about.
I am often astounded and saddened by how I hear people communicate to each other and about each other.
Statements, that so often, derive from our desire to control everything around us. Our desire to have people do what it is we want them to do and to be who it is we want them to be.
So don’t wait until Valentine’s day to show love.
You will quite possibly just end up spending large sums of money on something that will soon be forgotten.
Instead, why not increase your awareness about how you communicate with those around you.
Is it loving communication?
Or does it stem from your frustrations, anger, disappointments etc.
For me – to hear loving communication from those around me consistently would have far more meaning, far more positive impact than an over-priced bunch of red roses. (just don’t tell my husband that J)
Have a wonderful month.