MEN: Are They The Biggest Problem In The World?
The Structure of Energy Healing Newsletter
He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he
himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need
to be forgiven – George Herbert
Finally, the new book is out! Titled: Men: Are they the biggest
problem in the world? Introduction and Chapter One are available for
you in this Newsletter.
Please note the DPB article is postponed at this time.
Kay Urlich at the Waiwera Ashram SATURDAY 19th November 2011 at
1.30 pm. Join me for a talk and discussion about The Merging of
Polarities: Busting into new paradigms. More details after book excerpts.
MEN: Are They The Biggest Problem In The World?
By Kay Urlich
When I tell people the title of this book they smile politely and assume
I’m writing a comedy. “Is this a joke?” they ask. When I say no, their
mouths drop open in disbelief as if I’d just hit their baby. They say
that I must hate men to even suggest such a thing; that women cause
problems too; women are bitches and behave worse than men sometimes and
So, no, I can categorically state that neither the writing of this book,
nor its content, is a joke. However, these people are not wrong in
asking, because while the evidence is so compelling, it is also widely
ignored. We all understand that men are wonderful sons, brothers,
lovers, fathers and husbands; they are the creators of great art, music
and civilizations, but I was beginning to think that I’d dreamed up the
facts that men are also:
• The builders and users of technology which has devastating
consequences for humanity and the environment through pesticides, germ
warfare, ammunition and other types of ruthless technology
• The holders of more wealth, land and privileges than women. Men are
paid more than women for equal work.
• The main physical and financial beneficiaries of trafficked women and
children for pornography and sexual purposes: Child pornography alone
earns three billion dollars annually. Meanwhile many thousands of
children starve to death daily.
However, the more I researched the question, the more I thought the
Universe must be playing some kind of mad game. Why did some people
react so ferociously to such well-known facts? Originally, all I wanted
to know is why is there is so much poverty, despair and war for many,
and so much wealth and privilege for so few? I wanted to explore the
cause of violence, and what is it about a world that lets millions of
children be so brutalized, that ignores those orphaned from AIDs who
have no medication, schooling and no one to love and guide them – I
wanted to engage in open dialogue about who, or what, is really
Other things too, such as how has the status quo continued for so long,
when men are the known beneficiaries of power: over women, nature, the
environment, food supplies, water rights and so on? Statistics, not that
you really need them, (because if you are a woman then proof is in your
paycheck), prove that it’s men who are pulling the global strings.
Therefore they must be responsible for all the world’s problems, right?
Well, it’s a reasonable assumption to make given the facts I’ve just
mentioned. However, to my surprise, and despite all the evidence I have
seen, as I looked deeper into the cause through the eyes of another
paradigm, I realized that physical evidence and statistics aren’t quite
as simple as they first appear. I realized that if people and cultures
are willing to look into the cause of personal and global dysfunction,
then they can solve many problems and make real changes to their lives
and environment. Understanding causation is not about attributing blame,
it is about expanding our personal and global awareness.
Greater knowledge is vital at this time, because what we see in the
physical world is only one part of a very large human puzzle. My ongoing
enquiries led me to another important understanding, that men, while
they appear to be the perpetrators of violence, may actually be having a
hard time of it too; they may be victims of their own benefits.
You may be getting a bit frustrated by now because these statements are
so contradictory, and you’re right, they are. They’re like life, and
life is complicated and paradoxical. Not only that, but the true essence
of life, love and the universe can only reveal itself through differing
perspectives, where conflict and opposition unravel the real magic of
both evolution and creation.
Statistics simply give us an overview of a world that has lost its way;
where Humanity has gone awry. But they cannot answer the biggest
question of all: Does power, in the hands of a few (a few men that is),
prevent humanity’s evolution? Furthermore, it is only by finding how we
were severed from whole consciousness that we can start drawing the
fragments together to unmask the real perpetrator. By finding the source
of personal and global dysfunction, you find the key to life’s purpose.
This leads to the discovery of how simple life really can be as your
life-force merges with an interconnected universal consciousness. You
• Where real power is held
• Why and what has caused so much suffering and despair
MEN: Are they the biggest problem in the world?, exposes some facts and
fallacies about opposing forces: through the merging polarities of male
and female, physical and spiritual connections, we find our real
purpose. Furthermore, by understanding ourselves we affect the
consciousness of the whole planet. Your part in this is vital; there are
things to be known as we enter into a new world cycle.
When my siblings and I were children, visitors would give us gifts of
money. I would look at them, puzzled, and ask “why does my brother get
three times more than my sisters and I do?” These old men from the
homeland, the former Yugoslavia, would shake their head and explain very
slowly as though I were an idiot that, “it’s because he’s a boy”. Then I
asked my father, “Why do boys get more money than girls?” His reply was,
“That’s life, sometimes it happens”. Next I asked my mother, “What does
that mean?” She answered, “It happens because it’s a man’s world!”
*When we were older my brother became an **All Black. After the games at
***Eden Park there would be a function for the team and their closest
family members. The men, along with my father and brother, would be in
one room celebrating; eating oysters and ham and drinking alcohol.
Meanwhile, my mother, sister-in-law and the other women, who had been
separated from the men, were in another room being served sandwiches,
cakes and cups of tea. * Sourced from www.kayurlich.com/newsletter
**New Zealand Rugby representative – the Alpha Male of NZ sport. ***Eden
Park, the most prestigious sports park in NZ.
As I advanced further into womanhood my confusion turned into a much
deeper need - to comprehend my growing awareness of the massive gap
between the rights and rewards of men, and the apparent acquiescence of
women. Despite being the butt of people’s anger simply for asking, I
continued to spend a great deal of time trying to answer “Why do men
receive more than women?”
I found many plausible-sounding explanations and excuses, however, I had
yet to receive a satisfactory reply, or come to any logical conclusion
as to why they actually keep getting it. Besides that, there was so much
more I wanted to know, such as what is ‘a man’s-world’ that my mother
spoke of. Other questions were forming in my mind too. Was there a
woman’s world, and if so, what did it all mean for me?
I’ve always suspected the worse and it’s always been worse that I
expected – Henry James
Entrenched in Different Realities
My enquiries led me to understand that ‘a man’s world’ is a
male-orientated power structure that has been scrupulously upheld and
maintained, to the point that it remains a dominant characteristic in
our societies. I know this is not news to most people, nor is it quite
as simple as that. I found ‘a man’s world’ to be a multifaceted universe
wherein the subtle and not so subtle elitism of men not only existed
openly, but flourished within every aspect of our personal, cultural and
social connections. I continued to be astounded by how much it permeated
every aspect of our business and political structures, from the personal
to the global, and how readily its power was enacted to ensure the
preservation of men’s superiority over women and women’s qualities. (To
find out more about male and female energy structures read The Structure
of Energy Healing and Soul Mate or Soul Inmate? available at
www.kayurlich.com . )
Contrary to popular belief, these were not the ramblings of unresolved
sibling rivalry nor was I blaming men for every single little thing that
happened in the world; however it was fairly obvious that many men, and
women too, are so entrenched in this reality that they’re barely aware
of how they are being pulled, this way and that, by the tides of
society’s conventions and its dictates. They are influenced by the power
that men were taught was theirs by right, simply because they were born
male. We all believed that men understood the complexities of life, as
women, it was well known, could not.
You’ve Come a Long Way Baby
Feminism has made great strides to advance women’s causes. It improved
life for many people as it rattled the conservative aspects of male
domination. The Western World has come a long way since the
mid-nineteenth century when women had no civil status under the law;
‘where they were pronounced civilly dead upon their marriage, or who
remained legal minors if they did not marry; who could not sign a will
or even have custody of their own children upon divorce; who were not
taught even to read, let alone admitted to college (the most privileged
of them were equipped with a knowledge of embroidery, china painting,
French, and harpsichord): who had no political voice whatever. Thus,
even after the Civil War, more than half this country’s population (USA)
was still legally enslaved, literally not owning even the bustles on
their backs.’ - Excerpt from The Dialectic of Sex 1970 by Shulamith
Consider the impact of ‘a man’s world’ paradigm that exists even now.
Not only are male privileges and expectations still commonplace, but you
are vilified still if you foolishly even question its existence too
deeply. But, perhaps I’m just ungrateful. This is the 21st century after
all, and things have changed since I was a child; you’ve come a long way
baby! Women are taking men’s jobs; women have got it made! Women have
the right to make real choices now - don’t they?
How Are Women Valued Now?
So, before you close your mind to my concerns, ask yourself how have
women fared until now? Are women valued equally for their intellectual
input, or for financial contributions, for ‘women’s work’? (That is, the
draining physical and emotional labor women do in homes or in jobs that
care for the sick and the elderly, as compared to a male road worker, or
more commercial work that is usually done by men) Men’s traits are said
to be more
• Action based
• Hierarchically focused
• Logically minded
• Individually rewarded
Where male ideas and actions are valued more - for their competitive,
strong and ruthless qualities, rather than women’s more compassionate
and caring roles – ‘that’s business’, we are told. What’s more, we hear
that male qualities are more important in a ‘survival of the fittest’
world, and during hard times it is ‘everybody’s right’ to attain as much
wealth as possible in a Free Trade World.
But how does a Free Trade ideology work, when no country in the world
has equal pay for equal work for women? There are a few jobs that buck
this trend; however there is no overall pay equity in any country in the
world. The one thing that is universal is that not only are women denied
equal pay in ‘a man’s world’, or for work that is done by men, but they
meet with greater obstacles to gaining wealth. One of the main reasons
for this is that women are the caregivers of children, which is of
course of little worth.
But that’s just the Third World, right? Wrong.
What’s more, as we shall see later, divorced women with children are the
most marginalized and poverty stricken group in the USA. The lack of
equal pay for equal work, plus the many problems and costs that come
with finding good childcare, are obvious discrepancies that contribute
to female poverty world-wide.
You Can’t Blame Men for Everything!
‘But hey, wait a minute!’ I hear voices screaming, men are suffering
too! They’re under-paid, out of work; they look after children; they
exist in slavery; they are maltreated by those who have power over
them…’ Yes, this is true, and according to Eric Toussaint, author of
Your Money or Your Life, “70% of the world’s poor are women, which means
that 30% of the world’s poor are men - so you can’t blame men for
everything, right, I get that!
However, men, even the poorest of the poor, have power over women: over
wives, daughters, sisters and mothers - and therefore over family
finances, which incidentally are not always used for the benefit of the
family, and in particular for the care, education and welfare of
Former Child Fund, Non Governmental Organization Director (NGO), and
author of LoveThink, Michael Vujnovich, who traveled regularly to Sri
Lanka, Zambia, Kenya, Ethiopia, East Timor, Philippines and Vietnam
(amongst others), states that “… statistics show that one dollar in
aid given to men means that $0.20 of that dollar will go to the welfare
of children. Whereas one dollar given to women shows $0.80 of that
dollar will go to the welfare of children…”
Men, even poor men, have financial freedoms that women in most cultures
do not have. They also have small and personal freedoms which are banned
for hundreds of millions of women in many societies.
For example, sexual freedom for women, which has become so much a part
of the ‘free world’, is still a great crime in many countries, where
women have no choice of when, where or whom they have sex with. It is
almost certain that children also will be forced into prostitution or to
marry, sometimes at eight or nine years of age, yet women will be stoned
to death for the ‘crime’ of sexual equality. Even in the West, where
women are supposed to be free to act as they wish, they are still judged
harshly for too much sexual activity; activity that would be applauded
when acted out by men. Double standards exist in most places. Women are
punished for freedoms and entitlements that are normal, expected
behaviors for men: how much they are punished, is simply a matter of
The Sin of Being a Girl
In some countries a girl will be starved so her brother can eat and go
to school, in others, girls are silenced before they are even born.
There are countries where abortion is not about the freedom of women to
choose whether to bear a child or not, or even about the health and
welfare of the mother and child. It is about societies with the
technology to identify early the sex of a fetus, and families whose
desire for a male child pressures a mother to abort her baby/fetus for
the sin of its being a girl.
I found large and small acts of violence toward women accepted and
plentiful. It is so rife in fact, and downgrades the value of women to
such a degree, that it profoundly and negatively disables women’s power
and ability to protect all their children born or unborn; so boys and
girls within all cultures suffer. Moreover, the disempowerment of women
opens the door for further and massive exploitation of the most
vulnerable children of the world.
The inequality of women is the threshold, the opening of the door, for
personal and global violence toward the innocent, the dispossessed and
the powerless; it allows for child abuse in the home, child slavery,
child soldiers and child prostitution.
The downgrading of women and female qualities, as we shall see, is the
main cause of the massive exploitation of not only women and children,
but also the foundation of global degradation of indigenous cultures,
the environment, animals, medical misadventure, spiritual and political
corruption, and the devitalizing of food throughout its cycles of growth
and production through the tons of pesticides and poisons that smother
the earth annually. The impoverishment and disempowerment of women
downgrades the consciousness of humanity…
THE WAIWERA ASHRAM Saturday 19th November 2011
9.30 - 11am: MEDITATION/DEEP RELAXATION - bring warm
clothing as this meditation is practised in "shavasana" the "laying
down" pose and takes approximately an hour, followed by 20-30 minutes of
quiet time. Morning tea from 11am.
12 - 1.00: Join us for our fabulous shared VEGETARIAN LUNCH, please
bring a plate and $2 coin.
At 1.30pm we welcome our speaker KAY URLICH on THE
MERGING OF POLARITIES: Busting into new paradigms
Where: 9 Waiwera Place, Waiwera. All welcome. telephone (09) 426